Reducing the 'new school' stress

Q: I'm overwhelmed getting my boys, ages 6 and 9, ready to go to a new school in a new city. They are registered and have their room assignments. Should I take them to meet their teachers?

A: Ask the principal if you can make an appointment to meet the boys' new teachers. Some will be in their rooms, but don't be disappointed if you can't. Most schools have a new-student orientation. If you can't attend that, ask if you can stop by for a tour so the building is not new to them the first day. Most principals are happy to arrange this, says retired Maryland principal Shirley Harden.

Here's how to destress your back-to-school countdown:

-- Create a school binder. Include calendar, testing schedule, parent meetings, and report card dates; discipline, absence, lunch payment, and homework policies; PTO contacts; emergency information. Read everything! (Is a pre-paid lunch ticket required?). Go over the school mission statement and behavior policies with your boys. Bookmark the school's website.

-- Review the route. Bus riders should know the driver's name, approximate route and time. If you're driving, do a test run and add five to allow for first-day traffic. Whether using the bus, driving or walking, learn the school's policies for drop-off and pick up of students, including waiting areas.

-- Organize an SOS team. Form a group of reliable moms, dads, grandparents and neighbors who can call on each other in case of emergency. Most schools require registration to pick up children, so make sure your SOS partners are listed. Since you're new to the city, this is a good way to meet other parents.

-- Get back into the business of school. "Explain to your boys that going to school is an important job and that you expect them to perform the responsibilities that go with it," says Harden. "That means establishing habits and routines to be successful, such as deciding when and where homework gets done and organizing things so that they can get out the door each morning." Ease into the school sleep routine so that the boys are on a school schedule on the first day. Avoid long trips close to opening day. Reduce TV and video game consumption; read with your boys every day and incorporate activities that prep their minds for school work, such as brain teasers, puzzles, math problems while shopping, science observations of weather patterns, writing in journals and so on.

-- Chill the night before. Gather supplies and books, decide on buying or carrying lunch, set out clothes and enjoy a fun family dinner. "Then start a school-year habit of a nightly wind-down time before bed," says Harden. "Talk out concerns. Set some positive goals for the next day. No one wants to go to sleep with a worry list!"

Fill their "tanks" with purpose and confidence: Project calm and pride, says Harden. "When you send them out the door, tell them: 'I love you and I know you'll do well today. You'll learn something new and you'll tell me about it tonight.' Anything less drains that tank before leaving the house, and no one goes far on an empty tank."