Inspire confidence in your soon-to-be kindergartener

PARENT TO PARENT
By Betsy Flagler

Q: "My daughter is going to kindergarten in the fall. She is very smart and social, but also a little delicate. I'm concerned that, in a 'big kid' setting, she may end up being picked on by other children. Is there a way to constructively 'toughen her up'? Should I even be worried about this?" -- A father from Brooklyn. N.Y.

A: Don't fret.

"The parents should speak confidence into the heart of their timid child, reminding her that, while they know it can be scary to enter a new room and make new friends, they believe that their daughter is ready for the challenges of kindergarten," says longtime teacher Cathie Broocks, admissions director at Charlotte Christian School in Charlotte, N.C.

"Words are powerful and encouragement is important," she says. "I encourage parents to take the emphasis of discussions off the child and focus outward, reminding their child that there may be other children who feel as they do and will need a friend."

Broocks also suggests the parents and their child visit the school before the first day, and if possible, have a one-on-one visit with the teacher or assistant.

"This serves two purposes," she says. "It replaces an unknown, which can be fearful, with a known, the room and the teacher's face. It also provides the teacher insight into the child's personality."

With a head's up, most teachers have ideas to draw a shy child into the classroom, Broocks says.

After kindergarten gets underway, volunteer in your daughter's class to get to know her teacher, to get to see the temperaments of the other students, and to help her connect with new friends outside of school, suggests a mother in Buffalo, N.Y.

---

A mother in Atlanta wonders whether a child who has become "delicate" is overly sensitive and cries when someone bumps into her in line, for example.

"If the child falls and it is obvious that it isn't much, maybe the parents should not make an issue of it," she suggests. "The parents do not always need to make an excited gasp or 'Are you OK?' whenever she skins her knees. Instead, distract her.

The Atlanta reader says a friend who has three children had a daughter who drew attention from her mother every time she screeched and complained her little brother had bumped into her. "I brought this to the mother's attention and suggested that she not react to the exaggeration of everything her little daughter claimed the brother did. Once my friend was called to observe this for herself, she realized she was overreacting and such fussing was finally put to an end."

Some kids are simply going to be more sensitive than other children, she says. It's their natural temperament.

 

Your child's teacher is the main source of information about school, and is the gateway to resources for the year, Amy James, an educational consultant, writes in her book "Kindergarten Success" (John Wiley & Sons, 2006, $14.95). Therefore, it's vital for parents to find a way to build home-school communication.

To be ready for kindergarten, a child needs to achieve most of these developmental milestones listed in "Kindergarten Success":

• Verbally communicates needs, wants and thoughts.

• Uses complete sentences to recount events

• Asks questions

• Takes care of own bathroom needs.

• Shares and take turns while playing with other children.

• Separates easily from parents.

• Approaches new activities with curiosity and enthusiasm

• Follows two-step directions.

• Runs, hops, skips and throws a ball.

• Holds pencils, crayons and scissors with a proper grip.

 

• If your child is prone to swimmer's ear infections, follow these precautions, pediatrician William Sears, M.D., recommends. These steps do not treat swimmer's ear but help prevent it.

• Place 5 to 10 drops of white vinegar or rubbing alcohol into each ear immediately after water exposure.

• Allow the drops to stay in the ear for a few minutes, then drain them out onto a napkin or cloth. This will help evaporate water out of the ear. Or mix equal parts of vinegar and alcohol for the drops.

• There also are swimmer's eardrops for prevention, not a cure, in drug stores.

• Do not place alcohol into an already sore or infected ear. This will be painful for an already hurting child.