Help Your Child Succeed In School & In Life

PARENT TO PARENT
By Betsy Flagler


Millions of research dollars basically arrive at a simple conclusion: For their children to thrive, parents must be involved day to day. Time together for stress-free reading, singing, talking and playing makes all the difference. Here are tips:

Children who read at least 30 minutes a day for fun develop the skills to be better readers at school. Bedtime is a natural time to read aloud to your child. But what about those parents who aren't proficient readers themselves?

To help at-risk kindergartners at home, parents don't have to be able to read word for word, according to Penn State researchers. Instead, another activity can help with a child's reading skills and boost parent-child bonds: Talking with your children about what's happening on each page.

"Our goal in developing this intervention was to improve parent support for the child learning at home," says Janet Welsh, research associate, Prevention Research Center for the Promotion of Human Development. "Many parents have low literacy themselves. To say they need to read to their kids is not always the most effective approach."


-- You may think you can't sing worth a hoot, but studies show that babies prefer their parents' voices over anyone else's. Toddlers love to dance with you and watch you dance.

The Zero to Three foundation says music builds connections with your child, and suggests: Sing or hum to your baby; sing a special lullaby before your child falls asleep; and play some musical objects, even a rattle, and dance to the rhythm. Preschool teachers find that songs make everyday activities, such as cleaning up or getting ready for stories, more fun. For more resources, call the Zero to Three foundation at 800-899-4301 or go to www.zerotothree.org.


-- Get down on the floor with a few toys nearby and catch your baby's attention. A program that calls for playing in ways the child leads, physical activity, and talking to your little ones is called the Floortime Model, developed by Stanley Greenspan, M.D., author of "Engaging Autism: Using the Floortime Approach to Help Children Relate, Communicate and Think" (Lifelong Books, $18, 2009)

Interaction throughout the day, starting when your child is a baby, is particularly helpful for kids with difficulties communicating and interacting. Something as simple as a pretend tea party where the child is the host is a healthy start toward building social skills.

Working with therapists, parents also have a role in a new early intervention program for very young children with autism, for some as young as 18 months. It takes parents, too, and not just professionals to help children showing early signs of autism to respond socially, says Geraldine Dawson, of Autism Speaks and the study's lead author.


-- Another important day-to-day role for parents: Cut back on stress at home, says Michele Borba, an educational psychologist and author of "The Big Book of Parenting Solutions:101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries" (Jossey-Bass, $19.95, 2009).

"I like to tell families to take a vow of 'yellibacy,'" says Borba. "Make your home a stress-free zone. Rather than devoting your evenings at home to sibling squabbles and dinnertime debates, find ways to destress with your kids. Take longs walks, read together, do yoga, or have a family movie night. Be a model to them on how to disagree without the conversation ending in a screaming match."

Once you learn how to tune in to your child's stress signs, you'll be able to recognize when he's on overload so you can intervene and help him to decompress before something comes to blows, she says.

"If you want to boost your kid's academic performance and see lasting results, it will take a few things from you: consistency, dedication and patience," Borba says. "Those things are always better parenting tools than anything money can buy."