By Betsy Flagler
PARENT TO PARENTWhether you're on the side of the parent or the teacher, here are tips to make the most of upcoming school conferences in the early years.
Teachers, avoid surprises. Anything big should have been broached ahead of a 20-minute session about a child's development.
Parents, start the meeting off right by showing up on time with no extra kids in tow. Jot down questions or concerns before the conference begins to make the most of limited time.
Your focused set of questions could include:
-- What are my child's strengths?
-- What are the areas where my child needs more help at home?
-- How is my child doing socially?
Your teacher will need to stay on track and use a timer. Broader issues beyond the basics may require a separate time to talk.
"The parent-teacher conference provides an opportunity for parents to be sure their child is receiving the proper foundation for developmental growth," says Kristin Clark, director of Davidson College Presbyterian Weekday Preschool in Davidson, N.C. "It also allows the early childhood teacher an opportunity to continue educating parents on developmentally appropriate practice."
Teachers need to share examples of activities that are happening in their classroom and what children are learning during the activities, Clark says. The goal is to update parents about the progress of their children in the areas of social, physical, emotional and cognitive development, she says.
One way for a teacher to prepare for the conference is to send out a brief questionnaire with questions such as:
-- Does your child enjoy coming to school?
-- Do you have any specific concerns?
-- Is your child receiving any special services such as speech therapy outside of school?
-- Have there been any big changes in your child's life that could affect his behavior at school?
The answers to the questionnaire make a good starting point for the conversation, says a teacher of 4- and 5-year-olds, who adds: "I make sure there are no surprises. Generally, anything of consequence has already been addressed as a separate issue."
Other tips for teachers:-- Start the conversation with positive comments about the child to put parents at ease.
-- To present concerns, pay attention to phraseology, such as: "We are still working with your child on cutting and hope you can continue to work on the skills at home."
-- Show work samples, and share growth from the beginning of the year and areas where you are challenging the child.
-- Share one or two anecdotes that show you know the child.
-- End the conference on a positive note.
One mother also suggests that teachers need to be aware of how "seating can really set the tone of a meeting." "It can be nerve-wracking when there are multiple people in the meeting, sitting on one side, and you're on the other. It feels judgmental and intimidating, like it's 'you' against 'them.'"
Other ideas from teachers:-- "I appreciate it when parents bring up the obvious and either offer advice or ask my opinion. For example, 'You mention that Johnny does not have the attention span for story time. Does he lie down and gaze away while you are reading? That's what he does at home.'"
-- Specific stories show you know and care about the student, suggests an elementary school teacher and mother of two boys. "Most parents just want to know that their child is growing and that they are happy, loved and being challenged in an appropriate way academically."
